Many years ago a self-described wizard named Oberon Zell became obsessed with unicorns after reading the book, The Last Unicorn. The novel describes unicorns as single-horned horses that can turn contaminated water into pure water. Not a bad skill to have.
The Wizard Zell also studied the works of biologist Franklin Dove who discovered fusing goat horns together in the 1930s. It was a procedure done to goats when they were less than a week old. Goat horns are not connected to the skull at birth and can be moved together until they meet in the center. The two goat horns grow into one horn and a unicorn is magically born.
The Wizard Zell was able to create his own unicorns from Franklin’s Dove’s research. The horns just needed to be sanded to perfection but no other maintenance was required.
The Wizard Zell donned his purple robes and wooden walking staff to tour Renaissance Fairs with his unicorns. The Renaissance Fairs put the Wizard in touch with Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus who offered him a four year deal for four unicorns. Part of the deal was that The Wizard Zell was not allowed to speak about his unicorns anymore. Like most wizards, he took the money and ran. The Wizard Zell was not around for the media frenzy that followed.
In 1984, a Unicorn with flowing white hair and a single horn was introduced to the public as a “Living Unicorn” named Lancelot. Sure Lancelot looked like a giant goat but the world went bonkers. It was exactly what everyone was hoping to see in 1984. Ronald Reagan was in the White House. The United States owned the Summer Olympics and astronauts were walking in space. The world needed a unicorn.
Ringling Brothers publicly stated that Lancelot the Unicorn wandered up to their circus tent in Houston and they had no other choice but to adopt it. They took the unicorns on the road and packed arenas. They paraded the unicorn around the main stage like it was royalty.
Animal Rights groups on the other were outraged. They were waiting to see a donkey with a chin strap but the horn was real and it scared them even more. They were allowed to touch the unicorn and pull on its horn. The horn didn’t come off. They were shocked.
In 1984, I was twelve years old. I remember handing my father a newspaper article about the amazing living unicorn. The circus had given the Unicorn a hot blonde to stand next to him named Heather. She was known as the unicorn’s caretaker. My father stared at Heather and then handed the paper back to me unimpressed.
“Looks like they glued a horn to a goat’s head, “ he mumbled.
I wanted to prove him wrong but instead of taking me to the circus, he took me to the horse races. I never got to see Lancelot up close.
The Animal Rights groups wanted to prove everyone wrong too. They were convinced that the goats were being harmed by the fake horns. They thought an implanted horn would be painful to goats and could possibly kill them. They demanded to have access to all the unicorns for an official examination. The circus refused and stated that these animal rights groups were out to destroy the magic of Lancelot. They held tight onto their belief that Lancelot was a real unicorn.
“As far as we are concerned, it’s a unicorn,” said a Ringling Brothers spokesperson.
The Florida chapter of the Humane Society filed a complaint. Leave it up to Florida to ruin people’s dreams. Lancelot was prodded and probed again. He was subjected to a series of x-rays which proved that the goats were modified surgically. They were proven to be healthy and happy. No charges were filed but the circus gave up after two years.
Maybe the circus got tired of having to explain that unicorns were real or maybe the Wizard Zell put a spell on them. Nevertheless, in 1987 Ringling Brothers canceled their four-year deal. They traded in their four unicorns for a giant elephant named King Tusk.
The last unicorn passed away in 2005. The Wizard Zell stopped creating his magical unicorns in the 1990s. A patent had prevented anyone else from creating them. The world moved on and now all we have are the memories of when unicorns roamed the earth.